"Does this therapist have...issues?"
Reader "Bill" sends this e-mail:
I think you'd be hard pressed to find a therapist who hasn't grappled with personal challenges. The question becomes, how have they coped with their issues? What have they learned, and how can they use what they've learned to help others? If this therapist's credentials are truly impeccable, I'd certainly consider starting therapy and giving it a try. You may find that she has particular strengths that are helpful.
Other questions I'd consider: "What is it about this therapist's weight, that's giving me pause? Is it suggesting issues in my own life that are difficult for me to face? Is she reminding me of other important people in my life, and am I reacting to her in ways that I might react to them? Would I feel comfortable discussing the whole issue of obesity with this therapist? And...what issues am I possibly avoiding, by focusing on weight?"
What do you think? Comments are welcome!
I am trying to choose a new therapist. One has good qualifications, but I'm concerned because she is very overweight. Please, don't take this as criticizing anyone overweight. I have troubles with that myself. But does it indicate the therapist has issues and I should avoid her? you may blog thisIt's not easy to choose a therapist. Degrees, certifications, work history, and recommendations can indicate competence. But patients must ask themselves: am I comfortable sharing thoughts with this therapist? Do we connect? Can I trust this person? What sort of help can this therapist give me? Therapists are prepared to address these questions with new clients. Sometimes patients interview several therapists before finding the right "fit."
I think you'd be hard pressed to find a therapist who hasn't grappled with personal challenges. The question becomes, how have they coped with their issues? What have they learned, and how can they use what they've learned to help others? If this therapist's credentials are truly impeccable, I'd certainly consider starting therapy and giving it a try. You may find that she has particular strengths that are helpful.
Other questions I'd consider: "What is it about this therapist's weight, that's giving me pause? Is it suggesting issues in my own life that are difficult for me to face? Is she reminding me of other important people in my life, and am I reacting to her in ways that I might react to them? Would I feel comfortable discussing the whole issue of obesity with this therapist? And...what issues am I possibly avoiding, by focusing on weight?"
What do you think? Comments are welcome!
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4 Comments:
I would hope that people choose a therapist with something other than a random search through the Yellow Pages, or God forbid, some internet picture search tool. And hopefully, your recommended therapist would have positive features that relate to the reason why you're seeing a therapist, and really those features have little to do with size, race, gender or other such visual issues.
Who doesn't have issues? No one is perfect, even therapists. This may be a temporary problem, or one that she hasn't been successful in confronting. It doesn't make her less qualified as a therapist, it may make her more empathetic to some clients. We have a heart hospital in our city, and the heart surgeons do tv commercials promoting it. A couple of months ago they added a female surgeon to their commercials. She was extremely obese, and the commercials didn't run very long. I'm assuming there was criticism of her, asking why a heart surgeon, of all people, would be that heavy. Most people expect those in the medical field to be perfect, and are very judgemental when they're not.
My therapist is in great shape. I am not. I am good at medicine. My therapist is not. She's a little bit country.
Here's the thing: She saved my life. She probably could have done it 50 pounds heavier; I think she runs to relieve the stress of doing therapy.
Some therapists eat a lot of Hershey's kisses.
It's the 50 minutes that counts--not what your shrink does on his or her private time. I don't care if she murders small animals or eats human flesh as long as she's good at what she does. There are so many seemingly well adjusted awful therapists out there that I'll take a normal person who can help me any day of the week. As Atul Gawande said, "We are all in the hands of flawed human beings."
This is just an opinion- but even personal trainers can get overweight when they end up transferring to a new University and having to spend 6-10 hours a week commuting and then focusing on homework and household responsibilities... but that's just coming from a former personal trainer and student.
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