Confessions of a hypochondriac

In The Observer:

'So,' asks the doctor. 'What's the problem?'

As efficiently as I can, I explain about the spot. I try to keep the story straight - not to embellish or waffle, which doctors hate, with good reason. While I'm talking he stares at me, stroking his lips with his thumb...

How should doctors deal with hypochondriacs? In the September 2003 issue of Current Psychiatry, Brian Fallon and Suzanne B Feinstein offer some advice. Doctors need, they say, to set limits to their involvement with 'problem patients'. They suggest doctors tell their patients something like this: 'I will reassure you only at office visits (not by phone), the office visits will be limited to once a month, and during each visit I will reassure you no more than once.'

So what I want to know is, where's my reassurance? After all, it's pretty obvious Gimpface thinks I'm a 'problem patient'...

excerpted from I Told You I Was Ill, by John O'Connell