"How I cured adult ADHD"

An article that's making the rounds at our office:

I always know which of my students have been told that they suffer from adult ADHD. They are often late and sometimes leave class early to go potty, unlike most students who go potty before class begins. They blurt out the answers to my questions constantly – always without the courtesy of a raised hand. And, usually, they fall asleep in class (probably from exhaustion) after the fifteenth or twentieth interruption. Later, they are awakened by the cell phone they forgot to turn off before arriving in class.

After being diagnosed with ADHD, two things usually happen to the newly “disadvantaged” student. First, a psychologist tells the victim that he cannot pay attention nor control various impulses. Next, he is given a dosage of drugs. Neither one of these responses actually works. In fact, telling him that he cannot pay attention – rather than that he simply does not pay attention – usually reinforces the problem. The drugs don’t work because, again, the disorder is fictional.

But, fortunately, I have discovered a cure for students with this so-called disorder, which I am now sharing (free of charge, mind you) with my readers. Here’s how it works...

How exciting, how subversive this feels, as we pass it around! Sort of like an Underground Press piece. (Especially when we're also reading this.) My favorite Adams quote:

"Will you continue to use the term 'irresistible impulse' to describe what is obviously merely an impulse not resisted?"

Now wait, say some. There are people who function very poorly without stimulants, and do very well when we prescribe them. What about them?

Of course, they are right. But I think they are a minority. I anticipate a day when we will ask why we thought that so many needed stimulant medication...