Open Loops has started a list:
* I forgot.He asks, "What have you heard lately?" I've heard a few:
* Were we supposed to do that?
* My dog ate my homework (The Classic)...
* My kid's grades are bad because he’s bored.
* She’s not being challenged.
* Everyone picks on my boy; he has to fight back.
* The teacher is picking on my daughter.
* Homework? It’s a weekend!
* What do you mean he failed the test? He completed all the problems. (Unfortunately, he completed them incorrectly)
* That bus driver has it out for my child.
Here are some…interesting…ones that others have heard through the years:
* I was blonde as a child.
* Picasso didn’t do his best work until he was 70.
* So I screwed up; I’m only human.
* I work better under pressure.
* I do some of my best thinking on the golf course.
* Hey, I’m fertilizing these bushes.
* No one will ever know.
* My vote will never make a difference.
* I’ve never been good with authority (or numbers, or charts, or …)
* If it’s left out on a desk, it’s okay to read it.
* If he’s so poor, where’d he get that pen to make that cardboard sign?
* Anyone who’d fall for that big wooden horse deserves to lose!
* Video games are good for my kid’s eye-hand coordination.
* Finders Keepers
* It’s not like he’s never borrowed something from me and never returned it.
* Everybody cheats on their taxes.
* I’m eating for two now.
The risks of (fill in behavior) are overblown.Send him your favorites for his list. (Will some find these useful in ways that he did not intend...?)
(Accused person or event) made me do it.
I'm not sick.
I ran out of samples.
My pills fell in the toilet.