What's your excuse?

Open Loops has started a list:

* I forgot.
* Were we supposed to do that?
* My dog ate my homework (The Classic)...

* My kid's grades are bad because he’s bored.
* She’s not being challenged.
* Everyone picks on my boy; he has to fight back.
* The teacher is picking on my daughter.
* Homework? It’s a weekend!
* What do you mean he failed the test? He completed all the problems. (Unfortunately, he completed them incorrectly)
* That bus driver has it out for my child.

Here are some…interesting…ones that others have heard through the years:

* I was blonde as a child.
* Picasso didn’t do his best work until he was 70.
* So I screwed up; I’m only human.
* I work better under pressure.
* I do some of my best thinking on the golf course.
* Hey, I’m fertilizing these bushes.
* No one will ever know.
* My vote will never make a difference.
* I’ve never been good with authority (or numbers, or charts, or …)
* If it’s left out on a desk, it’s okay to read it.
* If he’s so poor, where’d he get that pen to make that cardboard sign?
* Anyone who’d fall for that big wooden horse deserves to lose!
* Video games are good for my kid’s eye-hand coordination.
* Finders Keepers
* It’s not like he’s never borrowed something from me and never returned it.
* Everybody cheats on their taxes.
* I’m eating for two now.

He asks, "What have you heard lately?" I've heard a few:

The risks of (fill in behavior) are overblown.
(Accused person or event) made me do it.
I'm not sick.
I ran out of samples.
My pills fell in the toilet.

Send him your favorites for his list. (Will some find these useful in ways that he did not intend...?)