Slimefest

On call again...I'm missing the Eugene Celebration, our downtown festival, which looks to be a soggy affair, anyway (the rain has arrived). Last night, Eugene crowned its new "Slug Queen." The competition was fierce (the custom is that whosoever bribes best, wins). The winner has the requisite glitter, decadence, and funky charm (think glitzy, slug-costumed royalty, complete with ladies-in-waiting).

And what's this... a new twist this year. Slugs produce copious amounts of slime. So, unsurprisingly, the competition had a political slant. Aspiring queens lamented the slimefest on display in the presidential campaign...hardly any slime left for Eugene's "royals!"

There is slime in abundance this year. Mud-slinging ads, suspiciously-timed(and financed) books and movies, mystery memos. Slurs, venom, opprobrium...As long as the candidates can plausibly stand above the fray, the invective flows...

Who is swayed by all this? And who can keep track? I'm making a flow-chart of slime, outlining the attacks, counter-attacks, counter-counter-attacks and surprise smears. It will keep me busy until the debates, when I will once again have to face the issues. I'm being paged...I really am on call. Back to work.